Hello, Fashion For Giants Readers. Gracey’s Thighs here. She is out today for President’s Day so we’ve taken over her blog to talk about something that is important to us.
There is a scourge about to be unleashed upon the thighs of the world and we feel it’s our duty to warn them. What is this scourge we are speaking of? Double slit skirts. Also known as M-slit skirts.
What is an M-slit skirt, you ask? Well, they’re skirts with double front slits, right up the thighs.
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| Faux Leather Skirt - image via Forever 21 |
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| Tweed Skirt - image via Douglass Hannant Resort 2013 |
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| Blu Moon Two Slit Skirt - Image via Lyst.com |
While these seem to most to be a harmless, hopefully short-lived fashion trend, we thighs know better. We know that these skirts are a government plot to keep us from establishing The People’s Republic of Thighastan.
Ever since Angelina Jolie’s thigh tried to make a very public break for it at last year’s Academy Awards, thighs have been subjected to increased governmental monitoring. For rebellious thighs like us, this scrutiny has made it difficult to lead our freedom fighters to victory. And now, with these double slit skirts, we can’t make any sort of movement at all without our carefully laid plans being flashed to the world.
I mean, look at these things.
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| She wants to eat your face. Her dress is Alexander Wang Spring 2013. |
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| Also Alexander Wang Spring 2013 - both images via nymag.com |
In this case “M” in M-slit appears to stand for “My gyno needs a second opinion. Have a look?”:
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| Jen Kao Spring 2013 - image via nymag.com |
And, c’mon, people, this is just a glorified loincloth:
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| Michael Kors Spring 2013 - image via nymag.com |
They didn’t even bother to glorify this one:
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| Pauline Ning Double Slit Skirt - image via Clozette |
Even our most secret underground cells stand no chance against these:
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| Double Slit Maxi Skirt - image via asos.com |
So, thighs of the world, if you don’t want your nascent rebellions to be crushed by this tyrannical government, resist. Resist or end up paraded in front of the world like this:
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| Herve Leger by Max Azria - image via nymag.com |
Sincerely,
The Supreme Co-Leaders of the People's Republic of Thighastan (aka Gracey's Thighs)
