Growing Up Tall

Quite some time ago (longer than I care to admit, actually) a reader asked me to talk a bit about growing up tall, including how my personal style evolved as a tall girl.  It took me so long to write this (sorry, Terra!) because I wasn't sure I was the right person to do so because growing up tall wasn't really a struggle for me.  But, then, I realized that maybe that's why I am the exact right person.  Because I didn't agonize about fitting in or adopt terrible posture to seem shorter or worry about being taller than all my friends.

And why didn't I?  In a word, sports.  I know it seems cliche and I understand that not all children are athletic but I believe very strongly that sports are good.  Especially for girls.  And especially for tall girls.

Sports were great for me for several reasons.  One, being long of limb can often be awkward; sports helped me be more graceful and to feel more confident in my body.  Two, playing sports was a great way to meet other tall girls.  Not all of my friends are/were tall, but many of them were/are and I met many of them through playing sports.  It was definitely nice to know I wasn't alone.  And three, sports gave me confidence.  Not just in my movement, but in my height.  I was able to walk down the hall without slouching because of the confidence I gained from being an athlete.

In fact, I'd say fashion and style was one of the few issues I had with growing up tall.  And even then, I don't think it was as bad as it could have been because I was an athlete.  Athletes, for better or for worse, often get a pass when it comes to style because they're so often in sweats coming to or from practice.  A lot of athletes take advantage of that and just wear sweats constantly because, especially for women, finding anything other than sweats that fit properly could be a nightmare.

Especially back in the day.  I don't recall a single retailer that offered tall sizes when I was growing up.  Al Gore hadn't invented The Internet yet so your only hope was to stumble upon a pair of Levis that seemed slightly longer than most.  At which point you counted yourself lucky and bought them in multiples.  Shoes were difficult as well because there were never larger sizes in youthful styles.  You could sometimes find up to size 12, but they were more suited for grown women than teenage girls.  Back then, shoe designers apparently thought that tall women wore a size 9 until they turned 30 and then suddenly their feet grew to a size 12.

Now that I think about it, the same was pretty much true for pants and shirts as well.  You couldn't find them in youthful styles or brands.  If you did find tall items they were almost always more office-appropriate than high school-appropriate.  Again, retailers seem to be laboring under the impression that tall women didn't actually become tall until their first day at the law firm.  Like having a job is what makes you shoot up to six feet!

So, how did I develop any personal style at all given the dearth of available stylish clothing?  Well, the first thing that I did was stop worrying about being trendy.  Even if I could find Guess jeans long enough, I couldn't afford them so I looked for alternatives.  Like wearing a lot of skirts and dresses.  Especially once I got through middle school.  I was a tomboy until then when my final growth spurt made it impossible to find pants that were even remotely long enough.  Once I got over the need to wear what everyone else was wearing, I began shopping thrift stores to find pieces that appealed to me in color and fabrication the way retail offerings didn't.

Today, I still wear a lot of skirts and dresses.  And I still do a lot of thrift shopping.  But, happily that's because I want to, not because I have to.  

What about you, Reader Friends?  Did you grow up tall?  If so, how did you cope with the clothing shortage?

Happy Thursday, All!

Gracey

Reader Question: Belts and Skirts, Skirts and Belts

The other day I received an email from lovely Reader Friend Dana:

Hello –

My name is Dana, and I'm a fan of your blog. You have fantastic style, and I love how you pair your skirts with belts. My question for you is: how? I always want to wear belts with my skirts, but can never get them to stay in place. If I tighten them enough to stay put, then they dig into my middle too much. It ends up being more hassle than it is worth during the day, so I tend to forego them entirely (despite how much cuter my outfits are with them).  Any suggestions?

Dear Dana,

Of course I have suggestions!  Lots of them!   Looking back through my archives, it appears that I depend on a few different things to keep my belts in place; belt and waistband width, belt placement, texture and, sometimes, safety pins. 

Go Wide

My first suggestion is to go wide; if you want to belt a skirt, a wider belt is usually better than a skinny belt.  And a wider waistband is usually better than a skinny waistband.  And they don’t have to be super wide; either.  Personally, I like a waistband between an inch-and-a-half and two inches wide and/or a belt between an inch and an inch-and-a-half wide.

Wide belts work well with wide waistbands:

 But, they also work well with thinner waistbands and can help improve the tuck of a shirt:

Placement

Hate wide belts and want to wear skinny belts?  Then placement is especially important because skinny belts tend to slide around like nobody’s business.  I keep my skinny belts in place by resting them in the seam connecting the waistband to the skirt:

Texture 

As you may have noticed, smooth patent belts on smooth cotton skirts won’t stay put for anything, so I suggest adding a little texture at the waist.  Like with elastic.  A lot of my skirts are thrifted and are from an era when they still had elastic waistbands.  Turns out, they’re not only comfortable, they help keep my belts in place:

If elastic waist skirts are too “old lady” for you, you can also add texture with an elastic or woven belt.  Again, the rough texture will help keep the belt in place:

Safety Pins

I sometimes use safety pins to create temporary belt loops on some of my skirts.  I pin them vertically to my waistband and then thread my belt through them.  Of course, unless you’re attempting to add a little subversive punk-y-ness to you outfit, I’d suggest using safety pins only if you’re doing a half tuck.   Just add the pins to the back and if you’re only half-tucking, no one is the wiser:

There are safety pins in the back, under the half-tucked shirt.

What about you, Dearest, Favoritest Reader Friends?  Do you have any tricks for belting skirts? 

Happy Tuesday, All!

Gracey

Reader Question – Tights for Tall Girls

The other day, I received an email from Reader Friend Kay:

Gracey,

I have just stumbled on your blog and was thrilled to see a tall girl. My friend Janice is about as tall as you, but not plus size. She has definite issues with fit and as such has kind of given up on participating in personal style.

Her burning question to me last time we talked was about tights.

To get the leg length right, she has to purchase queen size, but then the top panty is too large and the crotch is at her thighs.

I noticed a lot of your tights were Hue or Spanx. Do they fit you better, come in a wider array of sizes, what?

Help us girls out! It's cold here in northern Virginia!

Now, you know I’m not about to let any of my fellow tall girls freeze, not in Northern Virginia or anywhere else, so here is my best advice for tights for tall girls.

For opaque, black tights, I suggest SPANX Tight End Tights because they offer a ton of sizing options.  I’d be surprised if they didn’t have a size to fit nearly everyone’s height/weight ratio (I wear size D).  In addition to multiple sizing options, I also like SPANX because they are slimming but not painful and they are sufficiently opaque.  Which I feel is important in an opaque tight.

SPANX also makes sheer, patterned tights which fit just as comfortably as their opaque tights:

For colored tights, HUE tights definitely work the best for me.  Although they insist on offering improbable, dual sizing (S/M or M/L) on a lot of their patterned and sweater tights, for their plain, colored tights they offer a fair variety of sizes.  I wear the size 3 in HUE and I’ve found that they're both long enough in the leg and that the waist comes up high enough so they don't cut into me.  I also love HUE tights for their opacity and color saturation.  They also hold up pretty well; I’ve had many of my pairs for a couple of years.

And, every once in a while, HUE throws us tall girls a bone and creates patterned pairs with normal sizing.

HUE Herringbone

HUE Swiss Dot

I’ve also tried Target tights, Nordstrom tights and DKNY tights but they also don’t offer extended/additional sizing in their sweater or patterned tights and HUE is better than all of them for opacity and/or longevity.

Which isn’t to say that Target won’t do in a pinch; I have a couple of pairs from there:

Target polka dot

Target fishnets

If you still don’t seem to fit in SPANX or HUE sizes, I’d suggest trying footless tights, especially if you plan on wearing them with tall boots.  With footless tights, you can go smaller in the waist sizing without having to worry about the crotch getting pulled down to accommodate your long legs.  And, if you can’t find footless tights in the color you want, you can make them.  You can cut the toe out of regular, opaque tights to make them into footless tights and they won’t run and can be laundered regularly.  Obviously this won’t work on lace or sweater tights, but I’ve done it on opaque tights and it’s worked fine.

How about you, Reader Friends?  Who makes your favorite tights?

Gracey

Confidence in Heels

I wear a lot of high heels:

And I'm tall.  So, when lovely reader Janet asked me about if I had any tips on confidence for tall girls in heels, saying,“I wore a 4inch pair the other night and while my husband loved it I got stares and comments non-stop from strangers on the street and ended up feeling very self-conscious... Would love to hear how you feel/think about tall girls in heels...” I knew I was the right blogger for the job.

As I said in my reply to Janet, I’m thrilled to be asked about this because this is a topic very near and dear to my heart.  I haven’t always been confident enough to wear the 5”-heels that I wear today.  And even though I am, for the most part, very comfortable in my heels, even I get to feeling self-conscious sometimes.  But, I have a few tricks for maintaining confidence even when I’m taller than everyone else in the room.

Here is the thing about wearing high heels.  There will always be stares and there will often be comments.  When I put on my heels, I know for a fact that I am going to get stares.  I know this.  But, I’m six foot tall, so I get stares even when I’m in flats.  Knowing that they’re coming has helped me prepare for them.  And, I’ve found that if I’m confident in my look, it changes the nature of the stares and comments.  Seriously, exuding confidence changes the stares/comments from “Holy smokes, Hubert, look at that freakishly tall woman” to “I wish I were tall; I bet she can reach the top cupboard so easily.”

So, how do you get that confidence?  By being comfortable with your look.  For example, don’t wear shoes that are too tall or otherwise physically uncomfortable for you.  It’s like wearing a short skirt.  It only seems too short to the people around you if you’re tugging on it like it’s too short.  If you rock that skirt like it’s a perfectly acceptable length, people won’t give it a second look (unless its obscenely short, but I know you know better than to do that).  The same is true for high heels.  If you stride in those heels (no tottering) like it’s normal for you to be 6’5”, people will admire your height (and your poise).  They won't question it or try to get you to join their cut-rate circus.

Another tip is to tone down the rest of your outfit when you’re wearing heels.  Most people can accept heels, especially when they’re worn with confidence.  But, a combination of heels, sequins, layered necklaces, a turban and a caftan might just be too much for the average person.  Now, if this is your look, and, mark my words, it will be mylook in about twenty years, then go for it.  But, if you don’t want to draw any more attention to yourself than being 6’5” brings, a less diva-like look is your best bet. 

Which brings us to the third tip.  If a sequined caftan and turban is what you feel best in, then wear it.  When you wear heels, you want to wear what you feel looks best on you.  Because, as I said above, people are going to stare.  So, if you’re going to have all those eyes on you, make sure you’re wearing something you want people to see you in.  Whatever that is. This is especially true if you're new to wearing heels.  You don't want to go too far out of your comfort zone all at once.  Yes, I know it worked for Sandy in Grease, but for us mere mortals, it's best to take baby-steps.  

And, finally, if all else fails, you can always fall back on faking it until you make it.  I'm pretty sure the less-tall among us can sense our discomfort and if they think that you feel weird being so tall, they'll think it's weird too.  But, if you exude comfortable, calm confidence, they'll just figure that everything's kosher.  And, as an added benefit to this particular trick, even if you're not feeling particularly confident in your height, if you act like you are, you'll receive some positive comments that can actually make you feel confident for real.  It might sound crazy, but trust me, it really does work.

This concludes my tips and tricks for wearing heels with confidence.  How about you, Dearest Reader Friends?  Do you have any tricks to share?


Gracey

Length and Volume

A couple of weeks ago, lovely Reader Friend Laurie, asked me how I wear my beloved dress and skirts without flashing my underthings.

A flashing waiting to happen...

The answer is that I don’t.  I just make sure they’re cute underthings.

I kid.  I kid.  The real answer is length and volume.  Well, length and volume and bloomers.  I don't wear tight skirts very often and I don't wear short skirts without leggings.  And I always wear bloomers.  

Bloomers, pettipants, bike shorts, foundation garments, whatever you want to call them, I don’t leave home without them.  In order to wear a pair under nearly every dress or skirt, I have them in a variety of color, lengths and fabrications.  Let's take a look, shall we?

DKNY Smoothies

Image via Bare Necessities

I absolutely adore DKNY smoothies (available at Bare Necessities and other retailers).  They come in multiple colors, are high enough in the waist to avoid what Sal calls Segmented Worm Syndrome, go low enough on the leg to avoid thigh rub, and have just the right amount of stretch so they help suck you in without making you feel like you want to die.

I have a pair in cobalt:

Between the Smoothies and the length of this skirt, it would have taken one heck of a windstorm for me to flash anyone.  Pleats are especially great because they provide volume without bulk; especially with flat pleats like those above.

In black:

This skirt is a bit shorter, so the Smoothies were definitely welcome here.  And again, the skirt is pleated so when I am riding my bike, I have more coverage, but without the bulk.

In gray:

Seriously, I cannot extol the virtues of flat pleats enough; they're just great for providing volume but still staying sleek.

And in nude:

This skirt doesn't have any pleats to give it any extra volume and there is no way I'd wear it without my Smoothies underneath.

Bloomers

Image via Amazon

I call them bloomers because that's more fun to say (although pettipants is pretty fun) and you can find vintage ones on Etsy or new ones on Amazon.  Bloomers are great for those days when you don't need, or want, to be sucked in.  And for those days you're wearing a jersey/knit fabric.  They come in a variety of lengths and colors and discourage your skirt from clinging to your thighs.

Because they come in a variety of lengths and colors, I have to have them in a variety of lengths and colors, including long, red vintage:

Hot pink vintage:

And brand new nude:

All of these dresses and skirt are prone to clinging to my thighs and the bloomers help alleviate that. 

So, remember, Reader Friends, the shorter you go, the greater the volume of the skirt should be to avoid scarring innocent school children for life as you ride by.  Pleats are the best for adding volume without adding bulk.  And bloomers are still relevant.

Happy Monday, All!

Gracey